Enjoy this musical interlude

I've been a busy girl lately. School, teaching the midget, life...damn diabetes. All of that.

I don't have the time and energy for a real post, so here's some music to while away a few moments.



I'm currently obsessed with this song and it's driving the midget crazy. But it's awesome!!

Brand New Key by Melanie


And this, too. Though the midget likes this one, so it doesn't bother her that it's on constant replay.

Secret by the Pierces


And last but by no means least...this one.

Love the Way You Lie by Eminem feat. Rhianna

Can't Sleep...The Christians will get me...?

So, last night the midget slept with me. Her blood sugar was high and I had to give her a correction at bedtime. She's gone low at night a couple of times, which is scary because she doesn't wake up and feel the low.

Anyway, she was not falling asleep, so I put a documentary on (Love that Netflix streaming on the Wii) and she was out in five minutes flat. I left it on for background noise while I trolled the message boards for parents of children with diabetes. Not trolled in the Craigslist sense of the word. I WAS NOT looking for hookers or meth or goats...I just wanted to talk to someone else who was also not sleeping because of diabetes (Damn you, Diabetes!!). But, I got sucked into the documentary.

It was the stuff of nightmares. "Jesus Camp" is a look at the complete and utter mindwashing that goes on amongst children in Evangelical churches. These kids are crying about their sins, having convulsions as "the spirit moves them" and speaking in tongues. It made me physically ill. Small children, who should be worrying about how much money the tooth fairy is going to leave them, are crying because they "sinned." They used a bad word or had a mean thought.

Now, I'm all for religious freedom. I'm not religious myself, but if someone else wants to have faith, and chooses to live his or her life according to that faith...Hey, knock yourself out. Your faith says you need to pick up the poisonous snakes to prove that you have faith?...Umm...okay, but I'll be over here out of reach of the fangs, 'kay?

However, this goes beyond having faith and teaching children about that faith and crosses the line into child abuse. Pulling kids out of schools so you can teach them that evolution is a "belief" while creationism is "fact" is simply wrong, but you have the freedom to do it. But when you start telling kids they are bad for having mean thoughts, that they are bad for thinking about sex, that they are bad for doing doing any number of things that are natural and normal parts of child development you are warping their fragile minds. You are teaching them to hate themselves at a fundamental level. A developing boy can no sooner stop thinking about his female friend's developing body than he can stop breathing. Human beings have natural, inherent behaviors and instincts and labeling them as wrong does nothing but set a child up for the worst kind of self-loathing imaginable.

And this movement, the movement aimed at these children, was designed with a purpose. The ministers themselves admit to designing this movement with the sole intention of "reclaiming our Christian nation." These are the children who are supposed to grow up, become our nation's leaders and lead the country into the path of light. Furthermore, these ministers make it clear they want these children trained, as the children of Islamic extremists and terrorists are trained, to fight and die for their faith. Even when there is no threat to their faith besides the fact that there are people in this world that don't have the same faith. They want all Americans to be Christian and to be Christian in their way, and frankly, they don't care about the children themselves, about what the price is for these children who will be raised being told that the world is this "one way" and then venture out into that world to find out that there is no "one way."

These people are making these children into fanatic Christian zombies. When the zombie apocalypse comes it's not going to be decaying corpses shambling after you craving your brain...it's going to be neatly dressed white kids in khakis and button down shirts...but they'll still be after your brain.

I'm investing in a sturdy helmet and reruns of The Family Guy. Hey, when the Christian zombies attack...at least I'll be safe on my mountain with dirty cartoons to fight the mind melting attacks of the Christian Right.

I'm procrastination's bitch...

I should be getting ready for bed. If I was smart, and did things that made sense, I'd be done with the two chapters I'm supposed to read and I'd be all snuggled in bed and sleeping already. Tomorrow is a big day...the midget and two of her cousins have birthdays in a 6 week span, and being that we moms aren't as young as we used to be, a couple of years ago, we looked at each other and said...you know what's a great idea? One party for these three...saves us time and money and keeps us from going insane and duct taping our kids to walls.

Which, reminds me...the other day, my sister-in-law was putting my niece to bed and said niece was being a complete pain in the ass, and my sister-in-law wanted to put her in time out, but the kid was already in bed, so she wasn't sure if she should get her out of bed just for a time out, so my precious angel niece looked her mother in the face and asked "Are you going to tape me to the wall like Auntie Laura always says?" It brought a tear to my eye when I heard that story, and also, since it involved no outside humiliation, I didn't have to apologize. Unlike last week when one of my nieces told my cousin B's friend that she was going to "Punch her in the face." I apologized for teaching my niece that particular phrase, but since the midget threatened to kick me in the taco last week, I don't know why B was so bent out of shape about the punch in the face thing.

Anyway...I was saying something, wasn't I? Oh, that's right...procrastination. So, yeah, big brunch birthday bash tomorrow and then an anniversary party for my aunt and uncle in the evening, so even though the assignment technically isn't due until 11PM tomorrow, there is clearly no way I'm going to be able to do it tomorrow, and sleep needs to happen because if sleep doesn't happen, I cannot be my usual sparkling self (as in I will not be threatening to punch people or kick them in the taco) and I might fall asleep in the middle of the pinata portion of tomorrow's agenda.

And if there's one thing I know when it comes to these kids and candy, it's that you need to be on your guard. And holy crap...whose idea was it to give these children candy in a game that involves a baseball bat...it's all going to end in tears...

I Cain't Say No...

I'm a giver by nature. It's in my blood. Someone says "Can you-" and before they can finish their sentence, I'm all..."Fuck yeah, I can...now who did you want me to hold down so you can shave your initials in their pubic hair?" The problem is...that the whole giving thing is actually something I do because somehow, somewhere in my twisted history, I got some wires mixed up and my brain interprets the needs of others as the way to find my own value.

And secretly, deep inside me, there's a grouchy, shriveled shrew who is pissed off at this automatic agreement to do whatever anyone asks me. It makes me whiny and not at all attractive even to myself. I'm all "Boohoo...Why does everyone always want something from me." And I'm surly and as anyone who knows me can attest, if I don't want to do something, it either doesn't get done, or it gets done in the most half-assed fashion you can imagine. And I bitch about it the whole time.

This is not to say that there aren't times when I joyfully do things for people I love because I love them and I want the best for them. Because that happens. Sometimes. When the planets are alligned just so...

I was talking to my cousin (and friend) B the other day, and she asked me to do something, and though I didn't want to, didn't really have time to, and probably would have bailed at the last moment, anyway, I said yes. But I said it half-heartedly and she knew I didn't really mean it...so she yelled at me for saying yes. She was all, "Why didn't you just say no? Didn't you just spend hours bitching about how you're going to be assertive and say no? Grow a spine, woman." So, I said no. And the sky didn't fall. And she called me later to make sure I was okay, so obviously I didn't hurt our relationship any.

This week, the midget was visiting her father. And I had plans...plans which included staying in bed, resting and relaxing and not do anything for anyone, besides feeding my dogs and being their doorman. Which I did. And I am struggling with the guilt of it, because my other cousin called me about 50 times asking me for help with this or that or the other thing. And she's not a girl who can manage for herself. So not doing things for her feels like kicking a puppy. Except that doing things for her becomes drudgery and I build up boatloads of resentment. It gets so that I don't want to answer the phone when she calls, I just want to curl up in my bed with the blankets over my head and pretend like I'm not here.

It's a bad combination...a girl who can't do anything for herself and a girl who can't say no.

Which brings me to this...I love this song, it's on my iPod and I'm only half-joking when I say it's my theme song.