For those of you who don't know me in real life...all two of you out there who got here by googling "snake poo" or "Craigslist hookers and goats" (so not kidding...) I'm a bit of an English freak. Particularly as it pertains to grammar and spelling, but punctuation is a subject that gets me all testy as well. So, needless to say, the angrier I get, the colder and more precise my English gets...well, until I reach the point of hysteria and then I'm just shouting gibberish and at that point, it's probably best to back out of the room slowly and return an hour or two later with a Coke to appease my murderous rage.
About a week ago, one of my favorite bloggers, Dee of Curvaceous Dee Twittered that a troll was lurking on her site. The comment the idiot left was ridiculously lame. So lame in fact, that I won't even bother to repeat it here. However, as I have more than a slight internet crush on Dee and I think she's fucking kickass, I was totally offended. And what happens when I get pissed? Other people shout, swear, ignore or laugh at idiots. I, however, pull out a dictionary and cut them to pieces with my favorite weapon...words.
Another thing you won't know about me unless you know me in real life is that I'm fiercely protective of people I love or admire. I once jumped into a lake to save the Archaeogoddess' sandal (true story)...even though of all the people on the boat I was the worst swimmer (still am) but the Archaeogoddess had stuck her finger in a cheese shredder and couldn't get her hand wet. Oh, and the sandal was totally floating so it wasn't even an emergency...but it was the Archaeogoddess' sandal for fuck sake! So, yes, even though I know that it's better to ignore the trolls, that feeding the trolls only encourages them, I let him (well, probably not him, since I doubt he returned to view the venom spewed in his direction) know in no uncertain terms what I thought of his comment, and idiots like him in general.
But that wasn't the best part...the best part is that Dee did a round up of the incident (because I wasn't her only reader to tell the troll to fuck off) and the ensuing reader comments in which she thanked each one of us for defending her loveliness. When mentioning my comment she said "Laura got all dictionary on his ass" which may be the most kickass description of my English fascism to date. I love it. It is totally going to be my new threat when someone pisses me off.
I highly recommend checking out Dee's site, though you should be warned that it's totally NSFW.
Also, I should totally get out more...